On My Merry Way

Whine Fest 2009

2009-05-05T16:40:00.003-05:00

I invite everyone to stop by my site and see my new layout. I'm obsessed with it! Best of all, it was free from The Cutest Blog On The Block. There is a link in the upper left hand corner if you'd like to get one for yourself.

Today I'm having a bit of a bad day. Really seems like this will be a rough week for me. This is the 2nd week I've had no temp work, and I'm climbing the walls with boredom and frustration. I'm becoming very discouraged with my job search, and making it worse, I don't know if want to do any of the work I'm actually qualified for. But since I'm short on cash and already have student loans burying me financially, more school isn't really an option for me right now.

Chicago is finally, FINALLY thawing out, and I'm excited to get out and do more in the city. That being said, I'm not really enjoying Chicago yet. I'm still in the transition phase, trying to make good friends, find my place here, etc. Having no income has severely limited my ability to do much and having no job is making me feel worthless.

I HATE to be such a complainer, but I'm just in a bad place right now. I'm trying so hard to relax and leave it all in God's hands, but it's hard. I'm angry and annoyed and bored and lonely.

Free Tots? Yes Please.

2009-04-23T08:56:00.001-05:00

Anyone else read the Daily Candy? Of course you do. Well, check out the Chicago Weekend Guide this week.

Someone I know in Chicago pleeaase do the first one. Because it would be funny. And awesome to have a friend who could score free tator tots for a year.

MMM...tator tots. Gosh I miss Sonic. Nothing like a "happy hour" route 44 Diet coke and small tator tots for an afternoon snack!

TEMPING. MY LIFE.

2009-04-21T14:53:00.001-05:00

Oh I Enjoy Being a Temp! (Sung to the tune of I Enjoy Being A Girl...I'd insert a music note or two if I could figure out how...)

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves as a frequent answerer of phone calls, is the person that launches into a really long, drawn-out, dramatic story of what they need, what they're selling, what is wrong, or why your company sucks without letting you get a word in for minutes at a time. Uh, excuse me, I'm just the operator (a temp at that!), I can't fix your problem, buy your product, or anything else for that matter.

I also really hate the angry person. The one who has decided that it is your personal fault that they have a problem. Again, just the operator here folks...I can transfer your call and that's about it!

Another thing I've noticed is the amount of people who ignore me completely. Don't mind me, just a new person sitting at the front desk as you coolly walk by, not acknowledging my presence. I have maybe spoken to 5 or so people total this week, and I've been here for 3 days!

What is there, some unwritten rule book for how to treat a temp in the office?
1.) Ignore temp at all times. Check.
2.) Unless of course you need to dump a massive stack of mail on their desk. Check.
3.) Avoid eye contact with temp. Check
4.) Stand at temp's desk chatting with other employees while not speaking or looking directly at the temp. Check.
5.) In the event of speaking with the temp, never under any circumstances, introduce yourself or ask for their name. Refer to them here on out as, "she'll only be here for a week" or "ahem. can you do....." or "hey there, you." Check. Check.
6.) Always assume that the temp is of course, completely stupid, and untrained in anything related to business. More than likely, they'll have never had much schooling at all. Check. Check. and Check.

Oh what a delight my life can be....I Enjoy Being a Temp!

Ahh Hell...

2009-04-21T08:16:00.001-05:00

F WORD. I think I have this condition.

Unfulfilled

2009-04-20T10:37:00.007-05:00

"...the cur of the highway which my dead end street abuts is constant. As I lay in bed awake, sometimes my heart begins to race, and I can’t get a deep breath, and I feel way too much. And wonder. And yearn. And long for something that remains beyond my now twenty-five year old understanding.

I lay awake for hours most nights, tossing and turning, wondering about my life. Have I made the right choices so far? What will the rest of my life be like? Is this it; is this really being an adult? How can I make just a little more money? What’s going to happen next? Am I really happy now, or will the future put this happiness to shame? Or, will future misery make this happiness seem even better in retrospect?

I also feel like there is something just below the surface of myself that remains untapped. The same potential that has plagued me all of my life is still swirling around, still waiting to be found. I know I can make a difference, a contribution, do something great, but I cannot figure out what it is or how to do it. I’ve been patient and dedicated, but still it eludes me. And in that regard, I feel unfulfilled."

I copied this quote from Cyndi at Just An Everyday Bitch because it is almost word for word what I would write if I could put my feelings to paper. Er....computer screen. Or whatever. But I'm in a similar place, wondering about the choices I've made, the debts I've got, and where I'm heading.

I'm so unfulfilled and I don't know how or what to do about it. I feel like I have this great untapped potential in me, but I don't know how to access it. Or put it to good use should I ever get to it. I look at all of my peers, successful in their lives with good jobs, husbands, kids, fabulous opportunities and most of all, contentment. Happiness. And I wonder how in the world do I find that? How do I get there? I feel like I'm aimless and wandering and not at all living up to my potential. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm waiting to do all of the things I've dreamed of -- traveling, climbing mountains, experiencing various cultures, going back to school, dancing and singing and living a quirky free-spirited life, etc. -- until I've got more money, more stability, or a "soul mate" in either the form of a best friend or a significant other.

What is holding me back? And how do I change?

Questions I ask myself every single day.

Annoying.

2009-04-17T14:58:00.004-05:00

Remember that time (today) that I posted on my other blog about how much it SUCKS to not be able to afford new clothes right now? Remember how on this blog, just a few days ago I posted about my shopping "spree" if you will? What is wrong with me? Why in the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks would I buy something lame-o like a candle (but mmmm it smells so good!), some tiny journals (so pretty...), and not one, but TWO bottles of $9 nail polish when I am DESPERATE for
a.) new work appropriate clothing
b.) a road bicycle for spring/summer exercise AND
c.) a laptop so I can get out of my extremely uncomfortable but pretty desk chair in my bedroom to apply for jobs/read blogs/"window" shop.....

Seriously. Sometimes I annoy the crap out of myself. Personal finances are my nemesis!!!!

Speaking of clothing, I'm hosting a bit of a contest over on the other blog. Since some of you don't know me over there and I would love to give you the opportunity to participate, if you email me at onmymerryway@gmail.com, I'll send you the link to my contest over there. And, then you can know who I really am. But only if you promise to keep it a secret. SHHH....

So Maybe I Went Shopping?

2009-04-14T15:07:00.010-05:00

The weekend before last was absolutely delightful. The roomie and I hosted an intense game night on Friday which was full of people and friendly competition. We were so loud I'm surprised our upstairs neighbors/landlords didn't kick us out the next morning! On Saturday, we went dancing at this delightful place called the Hangge Up. It featured two dance floors, one with current rap/pop hits and one with gems from the 80's and early 90's. I normally despise a club like dance night, because I hate sleasy sweaty guys grinding up on me but this place was so fun and I would definitely go back again. We did head over to this horrendous place whose name I can't be bothered to remember that desperately wishes it was in Vegas. You know the type: velvet ropes out front, cover charge, blasting techno music, tables with bottle service and wannabe men dressed to the nines in Affliction T-shirts with blazers, designer jeans, and waaayyy too much hair gel. Sick. I will NOT be going back there again.

The highlight of my weekend was lunch and shopping with a new friend who I'm adoring more and more as we hang out.

Here are a few items I picked up while we were out:

Adorable recycled-paper journals and Volcano candle from Anthropologie -- These candles are my FAVORITE and they smell delightful.

Stopped in at Ulta for one thing, came out with 6! Picked up two OPI nailpolishes, Atomic Orange for my toes and Hopelessly in Love for my fingers. I originally went in for some Smashbox Photo Finish Light primer which is hands down one of my favorite beauty products. It is so lightweight and smooths out my facial flaws before I put on my tinted moisturizer. LOVE it. By purchasing that, I scored a free gift, a full size Smashbox eyeshadow Fusion Soft Lights in Dusk. I also picked up some Ulta Dark Circle Intensive Eye Treatment and some L'Oreal Ever Pure Deep Control Masque in Rosemary Mint. The new L'Oreal Ever Pure line of shampoos, conditioners and hair sprays is one of my favorite new finds. The whole line of products is sulfate-free and vegan and is perfect for color treated hair. I love how gentle it is and how amazing it smells!

Our last stop was DSW to look for some pretty flats. I found these 3 pairs which I love.

Not So Anonymous Anymore!

2009-04-03T15:46:00.005-05:00

Whoops! Cat's out of the bag...my little anonymous blog is not so anonymous anymore! I maintain two blogs, one public and this one for when I need to rant or discuss things I wouldn't want my "real life" family and friends/co-workers to read because I'd NEVER want to cause hurt feelings or anything like that. Anywho, I'm about to make this blog private until I can change the web page. If any of you all have any interest in continuing to read about my little life, then please email me at onmymerryway@gmail.com and I'll make sure you can access my blog.

Have an amazing weekend!! :)

Random Tidbits

2009-03-31T17:56:00.004-05:00

Whew! Clearly wrote that last post in a bout of anger! Whoops...I usually try not to do that! While my feelings and frustrations are real, I want to stress how much I love my roomie. We've been friends for a very long time and while we've got our differences and are irritating the bleep our of each other, I'll always care about her. Here's hoping things get better and our lives start to feel more settled soon! Thanks for all of your encouraging words.

As I'm sure you know by now by my lack of posting about it, I did not get the job at the Marketing firm. I'm trying not to take it personally because the interview went well and my resume is in good shape. I know there are a lot of people out there competing for the same jobs so I'm just going to have to buckle down and try harder to find something! I'm still hoping to find something in Advertising/PR or Marketing, Event Planning or Communications. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending up some prayers!

Getting excited for spring in Chicago. Everyone keeps telling me how amazing it is here once it warms up. I'm really looking forward to busting out my bike and taking some rides lakeside. I'd also really like to get up to Michigan and Wisconsin to go for rides on some of their country trails. I've heard awesome things about them!

To my Chicago readers, do you have any suggestions for things I have to check out once Chicago thaws out?

Exhausted but Happy

2009-03-22T14:27:00.003-05:00

Goodness gracious, I'm one tired person. I had so much going on this last week. But it was nice to have something going on to occupy my time.

At the end of last week, I was offered a temp job for 5 days starting last Friday through this Thursday. Which was fantastic because I'm getting uber low on cash. I was excited to have a full week of work to get me off the couch, and to make it better, it was at a company downtown on Michigan Ave. I was so glad to be in a great location so I could go out and walk around at lunch and get the full experience of the commute downtown.

Lessons learned this week:
Working downtown would be really enjoyable
The commute downtown at 8am, is not so enjoyable
The downtown Red Line in the morning is my nemisis
I need to find some cute, comfy shoes that I can wear for walking

To make this week even busier, we had two sets of visitors in town. The first part of the week, my roomie M. and I's mutual friend from high school was in town during her spring break. She is recovering from a divorce and wanted to have a low-key, relaxing vacation. We didn't do too much, just went to church on Sunday, out for some deep dish pizza, dinner one night with friends from home, etc. I was sad to miss out while I was working, but it was good for my roomie to catch up with her best friend without me around. I tend to be the queen of giving advice (usually solicited, but sometimes not...) but I don't think that's what our friend wanted to hear right now.

M. also scored tickets to the Oprah show Thursday morning and I was overcome with jealousy that I couldn't go. Go figure that the one week that I was working, was the week that she managed to get tickets! Anyway, as soon as our friend left and after the taping of the show on Thursday morning, M.'s sister and niece, and her sister's boyfriend came for a visit.

Lucky for me, Thursday was the last day of the temp job, so I got to hang out with M. and her family. Her neice is four years old, so we had a bunch of kid friendly activities planned. We hit up Michigan Avenue for some shopping at the American Girl store (seriously still love that place!), Navy Pier, the Children's Museum, the Lincoln Park Zoo, and Millenium Park. It was fun to do a ton of touristy things and to see how amazing our city is through a child's eyes.

We sent them off early this morning. My roomie is out at a bar with some friends watching the KU game. But I chose to stay here and be a bit anti-social. I'm tired after a long week of talking, working, eating out and spending money and over stimulated from all of the sightseeing and activities.

On the job front, I had a phone interview for a marketing firm on Wednesday. I feel like it went well, and I know that my experience matches the job description pretty closely, so I'm really crossing my fingers that I'll get a second interview this week. Say a prayer and keep your fingers crossed for me!

Working 9-5, but Just for Today

2009-03-06T11:34:00.004-06:00

It’s Friday! For all of you busy employed workers, it’s the end of the week and you’re probably taking it easy, relaxing in your business casual, chatting with co-workers about the upcoming weekend. For me, it feels a bit like a Monday. Today is the Day of the Temp Job.

This morning did not start off well. First off, I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. I’m not sure if I tried to go to bed too early (I’ve been staying up late and sleeping in a bit lately) and my body wasn’t used to it, or if I was nervous, or what the problem was. Whatever the case was, I felt like I was awake for pretty much the whole night. You know that feeling when you’re half asleep and half awake? That is the kind of sleeping I did last night. My alarm went off irritatingly early at 5:30am. Sadly, it takes about 45 minutes for me to get downtown, so I had to start about an hour earlier than I’m normally used to getting up for work. I remember in Dallas, when I was commuting out to the suburbs in the morning I used to look at the stand-still traffic in the inbound lanes and think “Haha, Suckers!” because it had to take at least an hour to get downtown. Today, that was me. Luckily, I got on the train far enough north that I was able to snag a seat but at each stop people kept jamming themselves in the car until there was barely any room to move. It was driving me crazy because the more people that jammed in there, the worse it started to smell. That gross I’ve been walking for a bit outside/wet woolen coat smell.
But lucky for me, I made it to the building on time, which made my morning quite a bit better. As a matter of fact, I was early. Score one for me. If I have one work related (more like life related, come to think about it) fault, it is that I tend to run a bit late. But not today! :)

So I’m here. And it feels nice to be working again. Granted, today I’m an all out corporate receptionist. I may have complained while working at the ad agency of being a glorified receptionist, but after working here for a bit, I’m realizing that I did A LOT more than just answer a few phones there. Because here, I’m legitimately just answering phones. And checking in guests. But that is it. Nothing else. Not making coffee or making copies (which is fine by me!) Not doing the grunt work for anyone else. Just answering a phone call or 10. And yes, I’m just a temp so they probably wouldn’t bring up anything for me to work on, but from what I can tell, this person’s normal job description is to be the general receptionist. Which is fine by me. It’s kind of nice to not be stressed with huge piles of work or profuse deadlines.

So this company is huge and very professional. I’m used to working for the ad agency and at a trendy boutique hotel, so I’m not quite accustomed to the system they’ve got going here. I’m out in a huge lobby by myself. The offices are closed off behind me. You have to have special clearance to even access the offices. Each department has their own admin that fields their calls, so I’m pretty much the general operator. It’s weird. I have zero supervision up here. Luckily, everyone has been really nice so far. But even still, temping is definitely going to be an interesting experience.

Working at this huge professional company downtown has me thinking about what type of job I’m looking for. I have been pretty much applying for any Marketing Associate/Ad Agency Account Assistant position that I can find, but I’m really starting to question whether or not I want to remain in business. I’m trying to think about what I really like about corporate or business related jobs. And so far, here’s what I can come up with:
· I love getting dressed up in business clothes
· I love commuting on the train
· I love coming downtown
· I love feeling “important” enough to get to wear cute business clothes and work downtown
· I love going out on lunch breaks with co-workers and complaining about annoying customers
· I love having a desk and/or a cubicle to decorate
· I love having business cards with my name on them

And what I hate:
· Being scared of screwing something up
· Being scared of/annoyed with/hating my boss
· Frustrating clients/customers that are so rude or just don’t get it
· Being stressed out about work outside of work (Or taking work home with me)
· Being micro-managed
· Staring at a computer all day
· Not being allowed to have a flexible schedule
· Anything related to sales or financial statements/budgets
· BEING BORED
· Feeling like my job has no more meaning than to make “The Company” rich.

So looking at both lists, I see that the stuff I love is just the silly small stuff that comes along with a corporate job. The other list is pretty much the job description.

This is frustrating because my degree is in Marketing. I’ve worked for an advertising agency and the hospitality industry for a few years. It seems financially daunting to go back to school considering I’ve got a gazillion dollars in student loans already and a few credit card bills rolling in. (Gulp!) But it seems just as daunting to have to work at something that I dislike for the rest of my life.

I’m probably just being cranky, and not working for about a month has made me soft and idealistic and full of dreams. Hopefully I’ll luck out and score a permanent position somewhere that has a fun, creative, relaxed vibe and I’ll be happy to continue working in business. But the job descriptions I’m reading now make my stomach hurt.

It’s only 11:30? Unbelievable. I don’t know if this day could go any slower. But yay! At least I’m working!

I'm SO Over This

2009-03-05T11:31:00.002-06:00

Ugh, I'm frustrated. No actually I'm pissed. On Monday, I applied for a job that I am perfect for. It was almost literally the same thing I was doing at the ad agency in Dallas. I have always been taught to follow up a few days later to confirm that the resume was recevieved and to make sure they didn't have any additional questions.

So today, I did just that. I called and asked to speak with the person that handled HR. I explained who I was and why I was calling. The receptionist transferred my call and a woman answered with "HELLO?" in a very aggressive tone. She did not identify herself in anyway. So I basically said "Hello, my name is ----- ------- and I'm calling to make sure the resume I submitted for the open position was received to see if there were any questions I could answer?" and she says: "No, not at all" and then silence...... Nothing. She did not ask my name for clarification purposes, did not ask me to confirm which position I was applying for, she literally had zero interest in why I was calling. So I quickly said "ok, thank you! Goodbye" and got off the phone.

And now I'm just annoyed. I was doing what you're supposed to do when you apply for jobs. You're supposed to call and follow up because otherwise your resume gets lost amonngst the thousands that are submitted. And that lady was flat out rude and uninterested. Uh, lady, why are you working in HR if you don't want to talk to job applicants? And if you don't want phone calls concerning open positions, then put that on the job posting!!!

What makes it worse, is that I feel like I am SO PERFECT for that job!

ARGH! This process is getting SO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!!! I just want a job already! (perferably one that I don't hate, but at this point I'd almost take whatever I can get....)

A Teeny Paycheck Coming My Way!

2009-03-04T17:28:00.003-06:00

Good News: I got a job! Ok, nothing to get excited about, it's just a temp job for 1 and a half days but thank the Lord, I get to leave my house in work clothes, go downtown and mingle amoungst the employed!! I'm excited about that. I'm slightly stressed about the awkwardness that is temping, being that I'll be the front receptionist at a HUGE, UBER-PROFESSIONAL company where I don't know a single person. But whatev, if I screw up, I guess I'll never see them again, right?!

More Good News: It's slightly warmer outside today. It gives me the hope of Spring approaching.

Bad News: Somehow the program that allows me to upload photos from my camera to my computer has uninstalled itself and I have no idea how to get it back since the disk that came with the camera is long gone. So no fun pics to share for a while....

I'M BAACCKK!!!

2009-03-02T01:18:00.001-06:00

TAP TAP TAP! Is this thing on? Anyone left out there?

As it turns out, I haven't updated you in over a month. Whoopsie... Do forgive.

At first I was overwhelmed with the excitement of the move and of exploring my new home. Then I was furiously applying for jobs, getting my Illinois driver's license and trying to figure out how Chicago public transit worked. And now, for the past few weeks I've been moping around because I'm still unemployed, and my roommate and I spend all day everyday together, stuck in our house due to lack of funds and the cold, cold weather.

UH, WHO'S IDEA WAS IT TO QUIT THEIR JOB AND MOVE A GAZILLION MILES AWAY TO A FROZEN TUNDRA IN SEARCH OF A NEW ADVENTURE?!!

Ok, I guess I have to take full responsibility for that decision. And in my defense, the decision was made and the plan was in action before the economy took a nose dive and all decent job opportunities went with it. I'm going just a bit stir crazy here!!! I'm bored out of mind, and sick of cold weather, and really sick of being poor and not getting to properly explore the city. I've lost all motivation (clearly you've noticed by my lack of posting and my lack of commenting on your lovely blogs), and I'm slowly going insane.

The one bright shiny star in the cloudy cloudy sky that is my experience right now, has been finding an absolutely awesome and delightful church full of fun, friendly and normal young people who have welcomed us to Chicago with open arms. Thank goodness for that.

We did manage to have a really nice weekend, starting with a leisurely night in on Friday (ha....all of our nights are leisurely nights in...). Saturday morning (ok, well, more like around noon) had us out of bed and working to clean our house from top to bottom as we were having a bit of a partay at our place. And by partay, I mean, hardcore game night. (Because that my friends, is a completely free event that does not require us to purchase beer or wine to provide! No judgement, we're not barbarians, we provided tea and lemonade) We are soooo cool. Obviously. But for real, it was a good good time with really competitive game activities going until the early hours of the morning.

Today brought somewhat of a blizzard to Chicago, so I was forced to stay in my warm bed until around noon when I ventured from my bed to the couch to watch Miss Congeniality and eat a leftover bagel. (Unemployment=Some good fine eating). I did drag myself to the shower around 3 to clean up a bit to hit the evening service at church and boy am I glad I did. Because church tonight was phenom and I left feeling very refreshed and renewed and full hopefulness for my future here in this lovely city. Hope the feeling lasts until tomorrow so I can re-tackle job hunting with avengence.

Anywho ladies and gentlemen, that is my short and sweet catch up to my life here in Chi. SO very sorry I've been absent. I hope that I still have a friend or two left out there in the blog world. Oh, and for those of you who are readers at both of my blogs, do forgive me again, because I'm going to post this exact same message over at the other place. Eh, I'm feeling unmotivated again. Sorry dears! Leave me some love so I know you're still out there!

Soon to come: Hopefully a photo or two, a positive update (or maybe a cry for help) on the job search front, and my advice for how to live in Chicago on a shoestring budget. Stay tuned.

CHI-TOWN!

2009-01-21T22:53:00.003-06:00

As of this week, I live in Chicago! It's the weirdest, most surreal feeling. In fact, it doesn't seem real. It's exciting and scary and wonderful. Right now, my roomie and I are just trying to get settled. We're still unpacking, and we have a million things left to do. I feel stressed because I still have to do all of that annoying stuff that requires tons of paperwork and long lines, like getting my car registered here and getting my driver's license. I plan on contacting the temp agency and getting to work next week, but for now we're still trying to get settled. We have yet to figure out the wireless internet, so posting will be sporadic at best for the next few days, but the plan is to be back next week.

I'm so looking forward to the future and can't wait to fill you in on all of my adventures and mishaps!

Moving's a Bitch! But Sort of Exciting..

2009-01-11T10:30:00.006-06:00

Obviously, I'm neglecting the blog as of late. I've been working hard (well, working at least....), trying to get moved out, cleaned up and ready for the big transition to Chicago and trying to spend as much time with my friends as possible. I'm really going to miss the Big D. Surprisingly enough.

Anywho, in my absence, I received an award from the lovely Bon Don of Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly. Which is very thrilling, as it is my first award here at On My Merry Way. Thanks for that mamn! I'll get that posted and passed along as soon as I find a bit more time.

This morning is my last day here at the hotel. Which, as with this whole move, is bittersweet. I'm elated to (hopefully) never have to deal with another ridiculous over the top spoiled guest again. And doubly elated (again, hopefully) to never have to work another weekend again. But I'm sad to leave this company, because in my (short) experience, it is such an incredible company to work for. Hugely supportive, lots of amenities and benefits, very fun-loving and laid back, and opportunity for growth abounds. If I had any desire to remain in hospitality (which, as of now, I really don't), I would want to stay with Kimpton Hotels forever. The "work crew" that I've had the pleasure of working with here is so great. Very unique, diverse and crazily fun. Two of my very best friends came to me via the hotel. To say I'm sad to leave them all, is putting it mildly.

I wish I could say the same for the ad agency (my regular 9-5), but I can't. The people there aren't terrible or anything, but save for one nice girl, I really won't miss anyone. I won't miss the work environment at all. I'm very grateful to them for giving me my first "career" like job out of college (the hotel was just an extra money maker for me), but the environment was very negative, accusatory, each-man-for-himself, and had no room for much growth. I am however, saddened to leave my regular paycheck behind for months of temping as I search for a new job in Chicago, but I'm ready to get out of that agency!

My last week here is chalk full of activities as I prepare to say my goodbyes to the Dallas pals on Friday. Somewhere in there I need to remember to cancel my Direct TV (and pray to the high heavens that they won't charge me the prorated amount for my contract), cancel my internet, clean up the apartment, fill in the holes in the walls from all of the pictures that were hung, and do all of that other time consuming stuff that comes along with moving. It's going to be kinda crazy trying to fit that stuff in while working at the agency and spending the nights hanging with friends.

Please stick with me as I make this move. I'll be in and out for the next 2 weeks as I get settled in Chicago, and try and get internet up and running. Don't leave me! I'll be back I promise, probably with tons of entertainment as I will be temping and job searching, which has the potential to provide lots to laugh (and maybe cry) about.

Peace Out 2008

2008-12-31T10:07:00.003-06:00

Oh 2008, what a year. For me, '08 was a huge roller coaster with tons of ups and downs, twists and turns.

I had a lot of fun, and made some amazing memories. My "new" Dallas friendships have grown stronger. I felt more grown-up then I've ever felt. I was punched in the face with the realization that I have a ton of debt, and it will take me ages to pay it off. I worked a job in the industry that I dreamed of working in, only to find that it might not be what I want to do. My best pal moved far away. One friend got a divorce. A few others got married. My parents got one year older, and for the first time, I'm starting to see them as anything other than invincible, and have felt multiple stabs of fear that something might happen to them. I lost about 30 lbs. And gained back about 8 in the last two months (damn holidays). I've suffered from jealousy of all of my friends who have great, well-paying jobs, boyfriends/husbands, master's degrees, and no debt. I've grown in my spirituality and yet, I haven't been able to fully commit to my walk with Christ. I've prayed, cried, and pounded my fist in frustration. I've felt fear, and excitement, even elation. I'm about to embark on a huge adventure, symbolically I think, on the very first day of January.

Here's hoping that 2009 will a better year for us all. I'm looking at it as a rebuilding year. A year for starting over and re-focusing and changing my lifestyle to be more beneficial for my future.

May God bless you and yours on the eve of this New Year. Cheers to 2009!

Moving Day!

2008-12-30T11:07:00.003-06:00

Well, it's here. The week of the big move. I fly out tomorrow afternoon for a quick night in Kansas City and my future roomie will pick me up on January 1 on her way and we will hit the road for Chicago. My dad will meet us up there with the moving truck early on January 2. We'll have a few days to try and unpack some stuff and then will be heading back to work 2 more weeks at our jobs.

I'm so excited. For right now, most of my nerves about not having a job have been suppressed with the utter joy of a new adventure about to happen. I've spent the last few days here at work doing next to nothing because I can't bring myself to be anything but overly excited to LEAVE this place which is making getting any work done practically impossible.

My actual last day in Dallas, January 16, will bittersweet. But right now, it's just sweet.

Merry Christmas to All....

2008-12-24T21:25:00.002-06:00

And to all safe travels, a happy gathering with friends/family, a warm meal, a kind word, a nice gift, and all the love in the world surrounding you!

I'm waiting for Santa back in Kansas, and then will be in the process of moving my stuff to Chicago, so my posting will be sporatic at best for the next few days.

Hope you all enjoy your holiday! Talk to you next year!

Resignation

2008-12-22T09:16:00.004-06:00

Today was the big day. I had to come in this morning and give my notice of resignation. Honestly, I was terrified. I had no idea how they would react. Would they freak out and let me go immediately? Would they be kind and understanding? One can never tell.

Also running through my head was thoughts of should I really do this? Is it unwise to quit a decent enough job in this economy? Because once its done, its done.

Strangely enough I got a decent night's sleep last night. Getting ready this morning I felt fine. Driving to work I felt completely normal. I was even fine when I first got here. But when my boss walked in, my stomach immediately knotted up and I felt like throwing up. Quitting a job has never been pleasant, but this is the first career related job I've ever quit. It is a thousand times more important for this to end well.

I gathered my nerves, walked in, asked for a moment and sat down. And then, I teared up. Shocker of all shockers, I was actually sad to give notice! I didn't realize that as crazy and frustrating as this place has been, I've also enjoyed my time here. But that always happens to me, I never realize how great something is until I don't have it anymore.

Feeling intensely awkward for showing emotion, I swallowed hard and gave her the letter. Before she opened it, I told her why I was there. She was surprisingly kind and respectful. She told me she was very sorry to see me go, that I was doing such a good job, and that she was certain things would work out for me in the future. I was completely surprised at how quick and easy it went.

But I'm not done. I have to tell the president of our company and she can be a bit more on the emotional side. I'm afraid she'll take it personally and it might not go as smoothly. To say i'm NERVOUS is putting it mildly!

Say a prayer and cross your fingers for me that things will go fine!

Tis the Season...

2008-12-19T11:22:00.004-06:00

A few days ago, I was tagged by the lovely Emily over at Overdue. Who I love, because not only is she very entertaining on her blog, but because she's a librarian, and that's in my top 5 list of careers I'd rather be doing right now and just might do in the future.

Anywho, the purpose of this tag, was to list 6 things that make you happy. And even though I've been a bit of a Grinch this Christmas, I could make a long, long, list of way more than 6 things that I'm blissfully happy about. But I'll spare you and keep it at 6.

1. Jesus Christ.
2. My lovely and cherished friends and family
3. Reading anything and everything - great works of literature, chic-lit, memoirs, magazines, newspapers, blogs, etc.
4. Creative crafty things and cooking.
5. My warm, cuddly bed that I get to snuggle in every night.
6. My move to Chicago. I couldn't be more scared, but I also couldn't be more exciting about this new adventure!
7. Traveling anywhere and everywhere. (Had to add one more, couldn't leave off traveling!)

Just a few things that are currently making me smile. And I since this is an easy way to get you thinking about things that make you happy, and "Tis the Season to be Jolly", I'm going to pass this along to 5 others:

Carolyn at Writing is My Therapy
Cyndi at Just An Everyday Bitch
Jess at Couch Potato on The Run
Mich at Who Is Mich?
Whitney from That Girl

My Christmas Wish List

2008-12-14T19:08:00.002-06:00

The My Favorite Things list seems to be all the rage in the blogging world so I thought I'd jump in on that bandwagon as well. Some of these things are out of my price range, but this is more of a hypothetical type of list. Happy Christmas!

This super cute and super cozy looking cashmere pillow and blanket would be perfect for traveling.

I love love love to travel, and packing all my toiletries for the plane can be a nightmare. These two travel kits from Philosophy and Bliss would be really helpful.

These travel slippers are cute and compact. They would be very easy to tuck in to my overstuffed suitcase. Because who really wants to walk around barefoot on hotel carpet?!

I love to cook but don't get the chance to do so too often. When I do, I always drive myself crazy trying to read a cookbook and keep it open all why trying to stir and saute. I think this cookbook holder is very pretty and would look nice in my kitchen

Due to my extreme lack of funds, I'm still driving around my old car from high school/college. And it has served me well. Gotta love Hondas! But from time to time my check engine light pops on and since I'm broke as a joke, It drives me crazy to have to take it in for a diagnostic test at $100 a pop when whatever is wrong is something minor that doesn't need to be repaired. I drive my dad crazy too because I'm always calling him to ask him what's wrong. Like he can tell from 3 states away! Anyway, I think this CarMD system would be very handy and would save me a bit of cash. And save my dad's sanity!

I have almost no use for this, but I don't care, I love it. Because who doesn't love cute, animal shaped chalkboards? Maybe for somewhere in the kitchen?

It's official. I'm a nerd. I really dig the History Channel and the Discovery Channel and all of that stuff. And seriously, this earth is totally fascinating! Good work God! To fuel my love of knowledge, I would love to receive the Planet Earth DVD set. And it's one of Oprah's favorite things too, so you know it's cool.

I heart Paris, and I heart this umbrella. Too too cute!

This list could honestly continue on for pages and pages, but in the spirit of our current financial situation, I'll cut it off here. I don't want to lead you all in to temptation. Heaven knows I've been drooling over Gifts.com all day today but have managed to restrain. My credit card thanks me.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

If You're Bored...

2008-12-13T17:51:00.003-06:00

Via Toujours Complexe, I found this really fun, new personality test. You don't have to sign up or look at ads or any of the usual stuff that comes along with the internet personality tests so if you're bored, I definitely recommend checking it out! My results are very spot-on.

Her Favorite Things

2008-12-11T13:06:00.003-06:00

That Girl is having an awesome giveaway of her favorite things. Check it out here. I can't wait to see what her favorite things are! I'm almost as excited as I get for Oprah's favorite things!

Jealousy is the Worst

2008-12-10T21:26:00.004-06:00

Do any of you have those friends who lives are seemingly perfect in every way? Where things just seem to fall in their laps? The ones who's lives just make yours seem so lonely and mundane? And just not successful?

I have a dear friend who is married to a WONDERFUL man who loves her so dearly. She got a pretty decent job right out of college. And when she realized she didn't like that job, her company promoted her to a fantastic job that suits her personality perfectly. She makes pretty good money for being only 2 years out of college. And she keeps getting these opportunites through her job to meet top people in her industry. To travel all over. To get to work with wonderful non-profit organizations. Everyone loves her. EVERYONE. I seriously don't know one person that doesn't love her. I don't know one thing that she's done that hasn't turned out so perfectly for her. Every project she does makes her bosses, co-workers, co-organizers, friends, family, or whoever else fall more in love with her. She works hard, but things still just seem to come so easily to her.

I HATE that I feel this way. But eveytime she has a new phenomenal experience, I feel a tiny stab of jealosy. I want nothing but the best for her. She deserves it all. But it just hurts because I feel like my life is just so far from that. I don't know what else to do differently. Like I said, I want her to be happy and definitely don't want her to not have great things happen, but sometimes, it's just hard to hear about another victory.

I feel so selfish and guilty and I would just die if she ever knew I felt this way sometimes. We're very close friends and I think it would hurt her terribly to know that I have these thoughts.

Ugh, just had to get this off of my chest.

Rude Awakening

2008-12-09T21:30:00.003-06:00

I might be in for a rude awakening when I get to Chicago. Today in Dallas, the temperature dropped pretty rapidly in a few hours. It went from being in the mid 60's to about 39 degrees. On my way to the second job, it started sleeting pretty heavily. The wind was blowing like crazy. And I was freezing!

I usually have a good laugh at the Dallas folks because being from Kansas originally, where we have some pretty brutal and windy winters, I've got pretty thick skin compared to Texans. It hits like 60 degrees here and people are freezing and wearing coats. If it rains too hard people slow down to about 45 or 50 miles per hour on the highway. If there are light flurries, people absolutely flip out and don't go in to work until noon, or work and/or school is canceled all together. Pretty funny if you ask me because at home, work and/or school is NEVER canceled. You learn to drive in ice and snow. Sure you take it easy, but there is rarely a time when you can't make it to work.

But I must've been living here too long. Tonight I was shivering and freezing. So I think moving to Chicago in January is really going to be quite the shock to my system and will definitely take some getting used to.

Speaking of Chicago, I've pushed back my move by a few weeks. It turned out that I was going to be paying rent in both Chicago and Dallas for the month of January (which really sucks for my budget!) and I figured I might as well stay down here where I've actually got 2 jobs and make a little extra money before heading up to the Windy City where I do not have employment. The whole moving thing has become very stressful and quite the money suck. Logistics are a nightmare. I have to go back to Wichita for the holidays, then come back to Dallas for 3 days of work. Then fly back to Wichita to meet up with my dad, my future roomie and the moving truck to drive to Chicago to move in to our place. Then drive back to Wichita and fly back to Dallas to work for a few weeks. Then will drive back to Wichita, pick up the future roomie (who is also staying at her job for a few extra weeks), and drive the rest of the way to Chicago. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it.

The money thing is killing me too. We found out last week that our landlord wanted the other half of the deposit (We only put down a 1/2 months rent deposit, $750, originally). We were under the impression that the $750 we put down was all that she required for a deposit. So we had to send in another $750 last weekend. We are also responsible for 1/2 of the rent in December and all of January. With the rent that I also have to pay here in Dallas for January that puts me at a grand total of $2,505 in the next two months. Add on to that credit card bills, student loans, car insurance, gas, utilities and I've got myself quite a bit of money that I'm going to owe. And since I'm living pay check to paycheck as it is, coming up with that money is seemingly impossible. I live in mortal fear that I won't be able to come up with the money and then I'll really be screwed.

I know once I get there it will be fantastic. It may be tough at first trying to find a job, or working a random job (as opposed to a career), but just getting out of Dallas and having a fresh new experience will be good for my soul. But the getting there and getting back on my feet is REALLY stressful. Ugh.

Any tips or suggestions for making the transition a bit smoother?

If anyone out there works in Media/Advertising/Marketing and/or Non-Profit and is aware of a job opening please let me know! I will happily apply!

A Fun Contest

2008-12-07T14:20:00.002-06:00

I'm super excited to have stumbled across the new contest that "Lipsmacker" is having over at the Lipstick Diaries. She's giving away some fabulous goodies from Sephora. And what girl doesn't LOVE makeup?

Make sure to head on over a sign up. And do some reading, cause the Lipstick Diaries is sure to keep you entertained!!!

9 Long Days

2008-12-04T21:05:00.003-06:00

It's been a long, fantastic break from work and real life. I went home last week for Thanksgiving and took the rest of my vacation this week. Tomorrow I have to go back. It's a weirdly bittersweet feeling. It's been 9 days without work. 9 days of family, friends, a long mind-numbingly ridiculous argument with my mother that kept circling back to the point we started, 2 6-hour drives, a broken car, and attempting to pack up some of my stuff for the big move. 9 days is nothing. But it feels like forever. Tomorrow I have to go back to work and I know that I'll be dealing with that weird, split personality feeling that I get at work where I both love my job and hate it. Where I feel tied down to the corporate world and where I find interest in some of my new responsibilities.

My original plan was to spend a good majority of my break searching for advertising/marketing, event planning, or non-profit jobs in Chicago. And to figure out my financial situation and how I'm going to make this move work in a few short weeks. And getting all of my non-essential items packed. Of course, as always, I didn't get half of that accomplished.

I'm really excited for this move. But for some reason, I'm also dragging my feet. I'm sad/scared to quit my job. It just feels reckless in this economy. Now that I'm thinking about leaving, it suddenly seems great. I'm really, really sad to say goodbye to my friends. I love my apartment. And my roommate. And being in my comfort zone. I'm really, really concerned about my financial situation and how I'm going to pay for everything. I'm scared I won't find a new job. I'm worried about making friends.

This is so unlike me. Normally I'm the first to plan and take a trip, or move away without a fear or care in the world. Maybe it's being older. Maybe it's all of the responsibilities I have now. Maybe the older you get the harder it is to leave the relationships you've made and maybe it's harder to start new ones. Maybe I'm just a huge bundle of stress, nervous and fear and I'll get it over it in a second. Who knows?

All I can tell you is that I feel extreme excitement and dread at the exact same time.

Weekend Fun!

2008-11-21T16:52:00.004-06:00

I'm off to a friend's ranch house this weekend with a few friends. The Texas Ranch house is the equivalent of other people's beach/lake/mountain homes. Last time I was up there, in the spring, it was gorgeous. I'm excited to get away from the city and have a bit of a breather. I definitely need a day to de-stress and just have a fun girly weekend.

Hope everyone has a delightful weekend! I'll meet ya back here bright and early Monday morning for the 3 slowest days of our lives as we wait for the gloriousness that is a holiday vacation. Yay Thanksgiving!

Unbiased Opinion

2008-11-20T19:13:00.003-06:00

Must apologize for my lack of posting. I have been absolutely swamped at work and when I get home I'm so tired I can barely think straight or even bother to lift my hand to change the channel with the remote let alone type up a blog post.

I'm also super stressed about the big move. I know that once I get there and get working things will be great but right now I'm living in mortal fear that I'm making a massive mistake by quitting my job (with the steady paycheck), and picking up and moving to a city where I don't have a job when I have massive debt and when the economy seems to be headed down rather than up. I have a temp agency lined up but by the time I get up there (1 month from now) there might not be any jobs left. And then I'd really be screwed!!! So I'm massively stressed/freaked out/sick to my stomach about that.

Anyone out there live in Chicago? And know someone who is looking to hire someone in advertising/media/marketing?!

Do you all think I'm insane for picking up and piecing out like this? Before you make your judgment know that I'm a wanderer. I love moving, traveling, and exploring new places. I'm not scared about the city itself or making new friends or anything along those lines. It's just the job/money thing that is really worrying me. My only other options are to a.) Stay in Dallas, continue at my low-paying job where my skills are way under-utilized and continue having to work the 2nd job to make ends meet or b.) move home to Kansas and live rent-free with my parents but have to find another job (to pay my debt down) with the intent to pick up and leave again in no more than a year. Please know that I will be miserable in Kansas. The city that my parents live in is great, if you didn't grow up there. It's one of those cities where most people never leave. You marry someone from high school and the same gossip swirls around. There are very few jobs in advertising and I certainly wouldn't get very far in my career. There is nothing to do other than eat out, drink, or go the movies with the occasional concert or play that might pop up. Everyone is married, or practically married. The guys left that are single are well...less than desirable. And Dallas, well, you read about my feelings on Dallas.

I need an good, honest, unbiased opinion. Do I move? Do I risk the no job thing to get to the city that I love with the hope that something will pop up? Or do I stay here for another year, underpaid, exhausted and partially miserable? Or do I move home and live with the 'rents, pay some bills, but be incredibly miserable and feel hugely unsuccessful for living with my parents at age 25?

For Which I'm Truly Grateful

2008-11-17T12:03:00.006-06:00

In these uncertain times, I think it is absolutely essential that we take time out to realize and appreciate the blessings we do have in our lives. It's sad that it takes global economic and political upheaval and financial uncertainty to shake up our merry little worlds and make us stop to realize what good things we do have. I stumbled across this post which really makes a good point and puts things into prospective. Especially the following passage, which I think is a really interesting and thoughtful way to put things:

"As for what the world is coming to, I like to think about it like an Alcoholic loved one; someone who has allowed the darkness around to pull them down into a seemingly incurable malignancy, but who with a bit of self awareness, a willingness to see themselves as apart of something bigger, a systematic plan to make amends and deal head-on with the issues, will rise again and perhaps be far wiser and kinder, than had they never walked through the darkness."

I think we should all have a little list of the things in our life that are true blessings so that when things do get rough, and seem insurmountable, we can have a little look and realize that things are quite as bad as they could be.

Sometimes I long for the simpler time when friends and family and basic necessities were all that mattered. Remember reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books? When they celebrated Christmas, the children were absolutely delighted to receive a beautiful scarf, a small rag doll, some candy and fruit. They rejoiced in a bounty of food on the table that they grew/produced themselves and relished in the time spent with family and friends. They marveled at the wonder of nature and rested from their work to play in the snow. I recently read a wonderful book, Little Heathens by Mildred Armstrong Kalish, which really reiterated the lesson that I learned so long ago from the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Life can be an absolute joy no matter how little you have and greater joy can be found in the things we create/grow/produce with our own hands.

Sometimes I get so disillusioned with all of the materialism that I see around me and that I myself am guilty of getting caught up in. Even as I write this, I can think of at least 10 unnecessary and frivolous things that I would be delighted to purchase. But so often I dream of living in a quaint small town where the latest fashion isn't all that important, where I don't have to have so many things. I love the city, and the excitement, and the fun, but sometimes a cozy little house, with a cozy little fireplace and kitchen and with a small little vegetable garden out back sounds so darn refreshing. Give me a comfy chair, a knit throw, a mug of tea or hot chocolate, a crackling fire, a book and a homegrown meal on my table and I would be content. Include in that picture a handsome, loving and kind husband and maybe a sweet little child or two and I think I could really enjoy living a simple life.

Anyway, I'd like to make a little list of the things I'm grateful and blessed to have in the hard times (and always):

1. Most important of all, a faith that keeps me grounded, gives me hope even in the worst of times, and that makes me feel loved

2. A loving and supportive family who is always there for me to fall back on. I know that if I ever get in over my head, my parents and brother will be there to bail me out, take me home and love me back to good again.

3. Amazing friends that continue to amaze me with their kindness and generosity. I love all of my friends for the different contributions they bring to my life. Hopefully I give back to them what they give to me.

4. A steady job (that I'm insanely about to give up to move...) with a steady paycheck.

5. The opportunity to have gone to and graduated from college to provide me the qualifications I'll need to find a new job when the time comes

6. The roof over my head. A bed and blankets and pillow to sleep comfortably at night. Food on my table. Clothing in my closet.

7. Feeling safe in my home and my neighborhood.

8. Good books to read, a pen and paper to write, music to listen to.

9. A healthy body and sound mind. Health insurance.

10. Living in a country where I'm free to voice my opinion, to live my life as a woman without oppression for my gender, and which allows me to work hard to achieve my dreams.

What are you grateful for? How have the hard times affected you, and made it easier for you to appreciate your blessings?

I'm Swooning Here...

2008-11-16T14:01:00.007-06:00

Paris in the Winter by Grandy - Very busy...back soon!

I am head over heals, 100%, take my breath away in love with Paris. Sadly (VERY sadly), I've never been. But give me a Parisian scene, a travel show, book, article on Paris, a French movie (because really, I love France), a French Vogue, or anything resembling anything French and I'll swoon for sure.

Actually, I'm an equal opportunist. I'll take most of Europe. Give me Munich, and London, and Dublin and the Irish countryside, or Brussels, Prague, and Spain or of course Italy. I do love them all. (Love from afar...never been to Europe..sad..so very sad...) And of course, I love the wonderful places all over the great USA (so diverse in landscape and lifestyles!) But France, and Paris in particular, has such an old world, romantic, gritty, fashionable, livin' and lovin' life sort of feel, that I can't quite get over it.

I found this gorgeous scene (above) on Polyvore.com as I was searching other people's fun winter clothing creations and of course swooned a bit. This is kind of a "Just In Case You Were Wondering But Probably Really Don't Care" type of post. Thought I'd share with you anyway.....

What city makes you swoon?

Working For..I Mean On..The Weekends

2008-11-16T08:53:00.006-06:00

This morning finds me up bright and early (7am!) to work at one of the sister properties of the hotel I currently work at part-time. They were in need of some additional help on the weekends and I am in desperate need of some additional cash, so here I am. Before I got my job at the agency, I worked at a hotel doing guest services. (Which can only be described as a nightmare at best) When I left the hotel for the agency I thought I would never step through the "employee only" doors at a hotel again. Yet with ever increasing debt, and my so-very-tiny paycheck, it became necessary to take on a part time job. Luckily, the hotel I worked at had an opening for a part time operator and they were willing to work with my schedule. So here I am, 1 year later, still working two jobs and so exhausted I'm barely able to function. And still quite poor.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to adjust your living to fit your new income? I took on the second job because I was super tight on money and wanted to pay down some of my debt. Yet with the added income, I found myself splurging more on a nice pair of boots, some dinners out, a new book, etc. Living in Dallas has had a huge impact on my finances. Dallas is home to many a $30,000 millionaire. People living like millionaires (no joke) on credit when they're making $30,000/year. When I first moved down here I got sucked in. I was freshly out of college, on my own with no accountability. My new friends were living the life, having fun, enjoying all the city had to offer and I joined right in.

Now I find myself in the same position I was before. Living paycheck to paycheck, enormous debt and extreme stress about it all. I have to say, being "grown up" is not all it's cracked up to be. So many of my friends are so blessed to have jobs in industries with starting salaries in the $50,000/year range. They're buying new cars, decorating their apartments with amazing stuff, spending lavishly on meals out, and stocking up on the latest fashions like there's no tomorrow. They have NO IDEA what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck. When I mention that I'm low on funds, or that I'm working two jobs, they nod along like they understand saying they're broke too. What I really want to do is punch them in the face and tell them that they're making double what I'm making so they should probably suck it up and enjoy what they've got. Because sadly it will be YEARS before I even come close to that level.

I'm not really complaining, more like venting a frustration. But I do know how lucky I've got it. I'm blessed with a steady paycheck, a nice apartment, good food, good friends, a supportive family and a faith that keeps me grounded. And I definitely appreciate those things. But on days like today, when I'm barely able to keep my eyes open, and I haven't had a day off in a few weeks, it just feels rough.

Bringing You Up to Speed

2008-11-13T19:56:00.012-06:00

Ok, a little background on my life and what not. I'm 24. I graduated from Kansas State University two years ago come December. I immediately picked up and moved to Dallas on whim 1 month after graduation to live with an acquaintance that I sort of knew from high school. She needed a roommate, I needed a new life, it seemed like the perfect fit. It wasn't. Oh man, it really really wasn't. Long story short, she was a crazy perfectionist and yet, weirdly not perfect and was completely inconsiderate. I seriously wish for your entertainment and for my sanity I would've been blogging back then because the girl was crazy. And unreasonable. And ridiculous in every way. I could go on, but whatever, that's over and done with. Thank the Lord.

I also took a job at a a fancy boutique hotel to pay the bills as I searched for the perfect ad agency job I'd envisioned while I was in college. The hotel was near Southern Methodist University and in Highland Park, one of the most snooty and pretentious neighborhoods in Dallas. And that's saying a lot because if you asked me for one word to describe Dallas, I'd say Massively Snotty with a HUGE Stick Up It's Ass. (Yes, that's actually 9 words and yes, it absolutely must be capitalized.) Oh girl, the stories I could tell. If you ever wish to see grown men and women regress back to childhood, work at an upscale hotel. No kidding. I'm talking temper tantrums, name-calling, tears, threats, and the inability to do ANYTHING for themselves including but not limited to cleaning up the dog poop their precious Muffy left on the lobby floor, turning on the television, getting something they left in the car, paying their bill etc. etc. etc.

In case you're wondering, nothing is anonymous at a hotel. We know when you ordered porn. And we know exactly which porn you ordered. We know when you're having an affair with your co-worker. And when you bring in a prostitute (yes, it happens all the time). We know when you're doing drugs. And we know that you're the one that left that obscene mess and your dirty underwear (ewe!) in the men's bathroom. We see celebrities all the time. Some are delightful. Many are ridiculous assholes. But we know it all. Someone should seriously write a book about working in a hotel. Again for your entertainment I really wish I would've been blogging back then. I could seriously have written a whole themed blog on the ridiculousness of the "Nouveau Riche". Lucky for you, I actually do still work there part time answering some phones to earn a little extra cash, so maybe I'll have a good story to tell from time to time.

Ok, so, about 4 or 5 months in to working at the hotel I was going crazy and honestly thought I might reach across the front desk and strangle one of the temper tantrum throwing ~~5-year olds~~ adult guests when I realized, "hey, didn't you go to college and dream of working in advertising? why the h-e-double hockey sticks are you working here?" (how'd ya like that little blast from the past? h-e-double hockey sticks. oh yeah, i've got a ton of those where that came from....) So I stepped up my game, got back on the job search wagon and frantically tried to find a job at advertising agency. As you may know, those are hard to come by. Especially entry-level ad jobs. Everyone thinks they want to work at an advertising agency. Seems so trendy and posh. And fun. (If they only knew...)

Lo and behold, I ended up stumbling across an open position at a small ad agency. I had two interviews, got the job, and my dream was realized. My new title? Advertising Assistant. Oh I should've known right then that they really meant Office Bitch Who We Sometimes Let do Advertising Stuff Just To Keep You Here. But I didn't and I happily accepted the position for way too little pay just to get my foot in the freaking door.

So here I am, 1 year and 4 months later, still an Advertising Assistant making next to nothing. I will say I've learned a lot, for which I'm greatful. I will also so say that I feel like I'm much smarter and more capable than that job allows me to be, that I work really hard for little recognition and pay and that more than anything I'm BORED. Part of me worries that it's the industry that I actually don't like. But another part of me argues that it's just this job and this company and I should give the industry one more chance. Not sure what exactly I'm going to do in the future, so I'm just letting it play out for now.

Also, I'm over Dallas. And it's just not me. Not my personality at all. I'm more of an Austin sort of gal. But it's too hot and humid down there, so that won't work. Anyway, I'm not bashing Dallas (well, not too much) but I'm just sick of having to dress up to go to Target, and spending tons of money I don't have just to fit in, and driving, driving, driving everywhere. I'm sick of the horrendous pollution, the ridiculous traffic, the "I'm better then you in every way, just look at my BMW and Jimmy Choos and by the way, I'm just a secretary with a $25,000 salary, thank goodness for Daddy and my credit cards" sort of attitude. I'm sick of the fake boobs (did you know that second only to LA, Dallas has more plastic surgeons than anywhere else in the country?), the Cougars, the douchey douche-bag, Ken doll, Fraty McFraterson guys who won't look twice at me because I'm not 5'4", size 0, blonde-haired trendster that I need to be to be accepted as an appropriate Texas girl. I'm SO sick of the materialism, the Republican till we die mentality, the Texas is better than ANYWHERE in the world, the anti-green, anti-save the world, drive our SUVs to the house next door, Hook 'Em Horns people that overrun this city.

So, that being said, I'm moving. I'm moving to Chicago. At the end of December. (Yes, I know it's dead in the middle of winter. I guess I just might be a bit crazy) And I couldn't be anymore excited. And scared. But really excited.

Now, if you're Texan, and you live in Dallas, please don't take offense. Texas has many a redeeming quality. As much as it drives me crazy, I actually do love the pride that Texas has for itself. I love the rough and tumble rancher meets the city sort of guy. I love country music and now, thanks to Texas, I don't mind going two-stepping from time to time. I love the Hill Country, and Austin, and the blue bonnet. And Blue Bell ice cream. And the shopping. Oh the shopping. The Big D has some phenom shopping. And thanks to Dallas, I've become sort of a foodie. I now love feasting on international goodness from all over the world. What will I ever do without Central Market? I love that Dallas is full of fun activities to do at all times. I'll really miss Addison, and Fort Worth, and Ikea. Most of all, I'll miss my beloved friends. I have been oh-so-blessed to meet some amazing people and it hurts my heart a bit to know that I might not see them again.

So there you have it. My Big News. I'm moving to Chicago. I've been dying to tell all my readers at the other blog, but since I haven't given notice to my work yet I can't. I feel bad, dropping the big "I quit" bomb right before the holidays, but I know if I tell them now they'll just let me go right away. And I need the $$.

Anywho, now that you've read the Longest Life Story in Blog History, I hope you'll swing by from time to time. I'll need loads of love and encouragement as I take this big step. And if you think I'm crazy, then tell me that too. (nicely please!)

This Is The Real Me

2008-11-12T21:50:00.004-06:00

Well hello there. Glad to have you stop by. I'm an experienced blogger (and by experienced, I mean 7 months of previous blogging) and I need a new place to express my thoughts. An anonymous place. When I first started blogging, I gave out my web address to all of my friends and even (this was a mistake!) my parents and a co-worker. Every day I find myself holding back, afraid of who might read my true thoughts. Complain about work? No sir..can't do that. Might get back to the boss. Discuss my (non-existent) sex and dating life? Absolutely not, my dad might be reading. Rant about my roomie? Sure can't cause she's reading too. I love my other blog, and have grown quite attached to it, and the bloggy friends I've made. So I'll keep it up. But this, this here is where I'll really spill. So if you're interested at all in my musings, then by all means, stop by from time to time for a quick hello. Leave me some comments, introduce yourself. Let's be friends. And get excited because you'll get to "know" the real me. The one who isn't holding back.