Whine Fest 2009

I invite everyone to stop by my site and see my new layout. I'm obsessed with it! Best of all, it was free from The Cutest Blog On The Block. There is a link in the upper left hand corner if you'd like to get one for yourself.

Today I'm having a bit of a bad day. Really seems like this will be a rough week for me. This is the 2nd week I've had no temp work, and I'm climbing the walls with boredom and frustration. I'm becoming very discouraged with my job search, and making it worse, I don't know if want to do any of the work I'm actually qualified for. But since I'm short on cash and already have student loans burying me financially, more school isn't really an option for me right now.

Chicago is finally, FINALLY thawing out, and I'm excited to get out and do more in the city. That being said, I'm not really enjoying Chicago yet. I'm still in the transition phase, trying to make good friends, find my place here, etc. Having no income has severely limited my ability to do much and having no job is making me feel worthless.

I HATE to be such a complainer, but I'm just in a bad place right now. I'm trying so hard to relax and leave it all in God's hands, but it's hard. I'm angry and annoyed and bored and lonely.

Free Tots? Yes Please.

Anyone else read the Daily Candy? Of course you do. Well, check out the Chicago Weekend Guide this week.

Someone I know in Chicago pleeaase do the first one. Because it would be funny. And awesome to have a friend who could score free tator tots for a year.

MMM...tator tots. Gosh I miss Sonic. Nothing like a "happy hour" route 44 Diet coke and small tator tots for an afternoon snack!

TEMPING. MY LIFE.

Oh I Enjoy Being a Temp! (Sung to the tune of I Enjoy Being A Girl...I'd insert a music note or two if I could figure out how...)

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves as a frequent answerer of phone calls, is the person that launches into a really long, drawn-out, dramatic story of what they need, what they're selling, what is wrong, or why your company sucks without letting you get a word in for minutes at a time. Uh, excuse me, I'm just the operator (a temp at that!), I can't fix your problem, buy your product, or anything else for that matter.

I also really hate the angry person. The one who has decided that it is your personal fault that they have a problem. Again, just the operator here folks...I can transfer your call and that's about it!

Another thing I've noticed is the amount of people who ignore me completely. Don't mind me, just a new person sitting at the front desk as you coolly walk by, not acknowledging my presence. I have maybe spoken to 5 or so people total this week, and I've been here for 3 days!

What is there, some unwritten rule book for how to treat a temp in the office?
1.) Ignore temp at all times. Check.
2.) Unless of course you need to dump a massive stack of mail on their desk. Check.
3.) Avoid eye contact with temp. Check
4.) Stand at temp's desk chatting with other employees while not speaking or looking directly at the temp. Check.
5.) In the event of speaking with the temp, never under any circumstances, introduce yourself or ask for their name. Refer to them here on out as, "she'll only be here for a week" or "ahem. can you do....." or "hey there, you." Check. Check.
6.) Always assume that the temp is of course, completely stupid, and untrained in anything related to business. More than likely, they'll have never had much schooling at all. Check. Check. and Check.

Oh what a delight my life can be....I Enjoy Being a Temp!

Ahh Hell...

F WORD. I think I have this condition.

Unfulfilled

"...the cur of the highway which my dead end street abuts is constant. As I lay in bed awake, sometimes my heart begins to race, and I can’t get a deep breath, and I feel way too much. And wonder. And yearn. And long for something that remains beyond my now twenty-five year old understanding.

I lay awake for hours most nights, tossing and turning, wondering about my life. Have I made the right choices so far? What will the rest of my life be like? Is this it; is this really being an adult? How can I make just a little more money? What’s going to happen next? Am I really happy now, or will the future put this happiness to shame? Or, will future misery make this happiness seem even better in retrospect?

I also feel like there is something just below the surface of myself that remains untapped. The same potential that has plagued me all of my life is still swirling around, still waiting to be found. I know I can make a difference, a contribution, do something great, but I cannot figure out what it is or how to do it. I’ve been patient and dedicated, but still it eludes me. And in that regard, I feel unfulfilled."

I copied this quote from Cyndi at Just An Everyday Bitch because it is almost word for word what I would write if I could put my feelings to paper. Er....computer screen. Or whatever. But I'm in a similar place, wondering about the choices I've made, the debts I've got, and where I'm heading.

I'm so unfulfilled and I don't know how or what to do about it. I feel like I have this great untapped potential in me, but I don't know how to access it. Or put it to good use should I ever get to it. I look at all of my peers, successful in their lives with good jobs, husbands, kids, fabulous opportunities and most of all, contentment. Happiness. And I wonder how in the world do I find that? How do I get there? I feel like I'm aimless and wandering and not at all living up to my potential. I feel lonely. I feel like I'm waiting to do all of the things I've dreamed of -- traveling, climbing mountains, experiencing various cultures, going back to school, dancing and singing and living a quirky free-spirited life, etc. -- until I've got more money, more stability, or a "soul mate" in either the form of a best friend or a significant other.

What is holding me back? And how do I change?

Questions I ask myself every single day.

Annoying.

Remember that time (today) that I posted on my other blog about how much it SUCKS to not be able to afford new clothes right now? Remember how on this blog, just a few days ago I posted about my shopping "spree" if you will? What is wrong with me? Why in the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks would I buy something lame-o like a candle (but mmmm it smells so good!), some tiny journals (so pretty...), and not one, but TWO bottles of $9 nail polish when I am DESPERATE for
a.) new work appropriate clothing
b.) a road bicycle for spring/summer exercise AND
c.) a laptop so I can get out of my extremely uncomfortable but pretty desk chair in my bedroom to apply for jobs/read blogs/"window" shop.....

Seriously. Sometimes I annoy the crap out of myself. Personal finances are my nemesis!!!!


Speaking of clothing, I'm hosting a bit of a contest over on the other blog. Since some of you don't know me over there and I would love to give you the opportunity to participate, if you email me at onmymerryway@gmail.com, I'll send you the link to my contest over there. And, then you can know who I really am. But only if you promise to keep it a secret. SHHH....

So Maybe I Went Shopping?

The weekend before last was absolutely delightful. The roomie and I hosted an intense game night on Friday which was full of people and friendly competition. We were so loud I'm surprised our upstairs neighbors/landlords didn't kick us out the next morning! On Saturday, we went dancing at this delightful place called the Hangge Up. It featured two dance floors, one with current rap/pop hits and one with gems from the 80's and early 90's. I normally despise a club like dance night, because I hate sleasy sweaty guys grinding up on me but this place was so fun and I would definitely go back again. We did head over to this horrendous place whose name I can't be bothered to remember that desperately wishes it was in Vegas. You know the type: velvet ropes out front, cover charge, blasting techno music, tables with bottle service and wannabe men dressed to the nines in Affliction T-shirts with blazers, designer jeans, and waaayyy too much hair gel. Sick. I will NOT be going back there again.

The highlight of my weekend was lunch and shopping with a new friend who I'm adoring more and more as we hang out.

Here are a few items I picked up while we were out:

Adorable recycled-paper journals and Volcano candle from Anthropologie -- These candles are my FAVORITE and they smell delightful.

Stopped in at Ulta for one thing, came out with 6! Picked up two OPI nailpolishes, Atomic Orange for my toes and Hopelessly in Love for my fingers. I originally went in for some Smashbox Photo Finish Light primer which is hands down one of my favorite beauty products. It is so lightweight and smooths out my facial flaws before I put on my tinted moisturizer. LOVE it. By purchasing that, I scored a free gift, a full size Smashbox eyeshadow Fusion Soft Lights in Dusk. I also picked up some Ulta Dark Circle Intensive Eye Treatment and some L'Oreal Ever Pure Deep Control Masque in Rosemary Mint. The new L'Oreal Ever Pure line of shampoos, conditioners and hair sprays is one of my favorite new finds. The whole line of products is sulfate-free and vegan and is perfect for color treated hair. I love how gentle it is and how amazing it smells!

Our last stop was DSW to look for some pretty flats. I found these 3 pairs which I love.