Not So Anonymous Anymore!

Whoops! Cat's out of the bag...my little anonymous blog is not so anonymous anymore! I maintain two blogs, one public and this one for when I need to rant or discuss things I wouldn't want my "real life" family and friends/co-workers to read because I'd NEVER want to cause hurt feelings or anything like that. Anywho, I'm about to make this blog private until I can change the web page. If any of you all have any interest in continuing to read about my little life, then please email me at onmymerryway@gmail.com and I'll make sure you can access my blog.

Have an amazing weekend!! :)

Random Tidbits

Whew! Clearly wrote that last post in a bout of anger! Whoops...I usually try not to do that! While my feelings and frustrations are real, I want to stress how much I love my roomie. We've been friends for a very long time and while we've got our differences and are irritating the bleep our of each other, I'll always care about her. Here's hoping things get better and our lives start to feel more settled soon! Thanks for all of your encouraging words.

As I'm sure you know by now by my lack of posting about it, I did not get the job at the Marketing firm. I'm trying not to take it personally because the interview went well and my resume is in good shape. I know there are a lot of people out there competing for the same jobs so I'm just going to have to buckle down and try harder to find something! I'm still hoping to find something in Advertising/PR or Marketing, Event Planning or Communications. Keeping my fingers crossed and sending up some prayers!

Getting excited for spring in Chicago. Everyone keeps telling me how amazing it is here once it warms up. I'm really looking forward to busting out my bike and taking some rides lakeside. I'd also really like to get up to Michigan and Wisconsin to go for rides on some of their country trails. I've heard awesome things about them!

To my Chicago readers, do you have any suggestions for things I have to check out once Chicago thaws out?

Moving's a Bitch! But Sort of Exciting..

Obviously, I'm neglecting the blog as of late. I've been working hard (well, working at least....), trying to get moved out, cleaned up and ready for the big transition to Chicago and trying to spend as much time with my friends as possible. I'm really going to miss the Big D. Surprisingly enough.

Anywho, in my absence, I received an award from the lovely Bon Don of Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly. Which is very thrilling, as it is my first award here at On My Merry Way. Thanks for that mamn! I'll get that posted and passed along as soon as I find a bit more time.

This morning is my last day here at the hotel. Which, as with this whole move, is bittersweet. I'm elated to (hopefully) never have to deal with another ridiculous over the top spoiled guest again. And doubly elated (again, hopefully) to never have to work another weekend again. But I'm sad to leave this company, because in my (short) experience, it is such an incredible company to work for. Hugely supportive, lots of amenities and benefits, very fun-loving and laid back, and opportunity for growth abounds. If I had any desire to remain in hospitality (which, as of now, I really don't), I would want to stay with Kimpton Hotels forever. The "work crew" that I've had the pleasure of working with here is so great. Very unique, diverse and crazily fun. Two of my very best friends came to me via the hotel. To say I'm sad to leave them all, is putting it mildly.

I wish I could say the same for the ad agency (my regular 9-5), but I can't. The people there aren't terrible or anything, but save for one nice girl, I really won't miss anyone. I won't miss the work environment at all. I'm very grateful to them for giving me my first "career" like job out of college (the hotel was just an extra money maker for me), but the environment was very negative, accusatory, each-man-for-himself, and had no room for much growth. I am however, saddened to leave my regular paycheck behind for months of temping as I search for a new job in Chicago, but I'm ready to get out of that agency!

My last week here is chalk full of activities as I prepare to say my goodbyes to the Dallas pals on Friday. Somewhere in there I need to remember to cancel my Direct TV (and pray to the high heavens that they won't charge me the prorated amount for my contract), cancel my internet, clean up the apartment, fill in the holes in the walls from all of the pictures that were hung, and do all of that other time consuming stuff that comes along with moving. It's going to be kinda crazy trying to fit that stuff in while working at the agency and spending the nights hanging with friends.

Please stick with me as I make this move. I'll be in and out for the next 2 weeks as I get settled in Chicago, and try and get internet up and running. Don't leave me! I'll be back I promise, probably with tons of entertainment as I will be temping and job searching, which has the potential to provide lots to laugh (and maybe cry) about.

Peace Out 2008

Oh 2008, what a year. For me, '08 was a huge roller coaster with tons of ups and downs, twists and turns.

I had a lot of fun, and made some amazing memories. My "new" Dallas friendships have grown stronger. I felt more grown-up then I've ever felt. I was punched in the face with the realization that I have a ton of debt, and it will take me ages to pay it off. I worked a job in the industry that I dreamed of working in, only to find that it might not be what I want to do. My best pal moved far away. One friend got a divorce. A few others got married. My parents got one year older, and for the first time, I'm starting to see them as anything other than invincible, and have felt multiple stabs of fear that something might happen to them. I lost about 30 lbs. And gained back about 8 in the last two months (damn holidays). I've suffered from jealousy of all of my friends who have great, well-paying jobs, boyfriends/husbands, master's degrees, and no debt. I've grown in my spirituality and yet, I haven't been able to fully commit to my walk with Christ. I've prayed, cried, and pounded my fist in frustration. I've felt fear, and excitement, even elation. I'm about to embark on a huge adventure, symbolically I think, on the very first day of January.

Here's hoping that 2009 will a better year for us all. I'm looking at it as a rebuilding year. A year for starting over and re-focusing and changing my lifestyle to be more beneficial for my future.

May God bless you and yours on the eve of this New Year. Cheers to 2009!

Merry Christmas to All....

And to all safe travels, a happy gathering with friends/family, a warm meal, a kind word, a nice gift, and all the love in the world surrounding you!

I'm waiting for Santa back in Kansas, and then will be in the process of moving my stuff to Chicago, so my posting will be sporatic at best for the next few days.

Hope you all enjoy your holiday! Talk to you next year!

Jealousy is the Worst

Do any of you have those friends who lives are seemingly perfect in every way? Where things just seem to fall in their laps? The ones who's lives just make yours seem so lonely and mundane? And just not successful?


I have a dear friend who is married to a WONDERFUL man who loves her so dearly. She got a pretty decent job right out of college. And when she realized she didn't like that job, her company promoted her to a fantastic job that suits her personality perfectly. She makes pretty good money for being only 2 years out of college. And she keeps getting these opportunites through her job to meet top people in her industry. To travel all over. To get to work with wonderful non-profit organizations. Everyone loves her. EVERYONE. I seriously don't know one person that doesn't love her. I don't know one thing that she's done that hasn't turned out so perfectly for her. Every project she does makes her bosses, co-workers, co-organizers, friends, family, or whoever else fall more in love with her. She works hard, but things still just seem to come so easily to her.

I HATE that I feel this way. But eveytime she has a new phenomenal experience, I feel a tiny stab of jealosy. I want nothing but the best for her. She deserves it all. But it just hurts because I feel like my life is just so far from that. I don't know what else to do differently. Like I said, I want her to be happy and definitely don't want her to not have great things happen, but sometimes, it's just hard to hear about another victory.

I feel so selfish and guilty and I would just die if she ever knew I felt this way sometimes. We're very close friends and I think it would hurt her terribly to know that I have these thoughts.

Ugh, just had to get this off of my chest.

For Which I'm Truly Grateful

In these uncertain times, I think it is absolutely essential that we take time out to realize and appreciate the blessings we do have in our lives. It's sad that it takes global economic and political upheaval and financial uncertainty to shake up our merry little worlds and make us stop to realize what good things we do have. I stumbled across this post which really makes a good point and puts things into prospective. Especially the following passage, which I think is a really interesting and thoughtful way to put things:

"As for what the world is coming to, I like to think about it like an Alcoholic loved one; someone who has allowed the darkness around to pull them down into a seemingly incurable malignancy, but who with a bit of self awareness, a willingness to see themselves as apart of something bigger, a systematic plan to make amends and deal head-on with the issues, will rise again and perhaps be far wiser and kinder, than had they never walked through the darkness."

I think we should all have a little list of the things in our life that are true blessings so that when things do get rough, and seem insurmountable, we can have a little look and realize that things are quite as bad as they could be.

Sometimes I long for the simpler time when friends and family and basic necessities were all that mattered. Remember reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books? When they celebrated Christmas, the children were absolutely delighted to receive a beautiful scarf, a small rag doll, some candy and fruit. They rejoiced in a bounty of food on the table that they grew/produced themselves and relished in the time spent with family and friends. They marveled at the wonder of nature and rested from their work to play in the snow. I recently read a wonderful book, Little Heathens by Mildred Armstrong Kalish, which really reiterated the lesson that I learned so long ago from the Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Life can be an absolute joy no matter how little you have and greater joy can be found in the things we create/grow/produce with our own hands.

Sometimes I get so disillusioned with all of the materialism that I see around me and that I myself am guilty of getting caught up in. Even as I write this, I can think of at least 10 unnecessary and frivolous things that I would be delighted to purchase. But so often I dream of living in a quaint small town where the latest fashion isn't all that important, where I don't have to have so many things. I love the city, and the excitement, and the fun, but sometimes a cozy little house, with a cozy little fireplace and kitchen and with a small little vegetable garden out back sounds so darn refreshing. Give me a comfy chair, a knit throw, a mug of tea or hot chocolate, a crackling fire, a book and a homegrown meal on my table and I would be content. Include in that picture a handsome, loving and kind husband and maybe a sweet little child or two and I think I could really enjoy living a simple life.

Anyway, I'd like to make a little list of the things I'm grateful and blessed to have in the hard times (and always):

1. Most important of all, a faith that keeps me grounded, gives me hope even in the worst of times, and that makes me feel loved

2. A loving and supportive family who is always there for me to fall back on. I know that if I ever get in over my head, my parents and brother will be there to bail me out, take me home and love me back to good again.

3. Amazing friends that continue to amaze me with their kindness and generosity. I love all of my friends for the different contributions they bring to my life. Hopefully I give back to them what they give to me.

4. A steady job (that I'm insanely about to give up to move...) with a steady paycheck.

5. The opportunity to have gone to and graduated from college to provide me the qualifications I'll need to find a new job when the time comes

6. The roof over my head. A bed and blankets and pillow to sleep comfortably at night. Food on my table. Clothing in my closet.

7. Feeling safe in my home and my neighborhood.

8. Good books to read, a pen and paper to write, music to listen to.

9. A healthy body and sound mind. Health insurance.

10. Living in a country where I'm free to voice my opinion, to live my life as a woman without oppression for my gender, and which allows me to work hard to achieve my dreams.

What are you grateful for? How have the hard times affected you, and made it easier for you to appreciate your blessings?

Bringing You Up to Speed

Ok, a little background on my life and what not. I'm 24. I graduated from Kansas State University two years ago come December. I immediately picked up and moved to Dallas on whim 1 month after graduation to live with an acquaintance that I sort of knew from high school. She needed a roommate, I needed a new life, it seemed like the perfect fit. It wasn't. Oh man, it really really wasn't. Long story short, she was a crazy perfectionist and yet, weirdly not perfect and was completely inconsiderate. I seriously wish for your entertainment and for my sanity I would've been blogging back then because the girl was crazy. And unreasonable. And ridiculous in every way. I could go on, but whatever, that's over and done with. Thank the Lord.

I also took a job at a a fancy boutique hotel to pay the bills as I searched for the perfect ad agency job I'd envisioned while I was in college. The hotel was near Southern Methodist University and in Highland Park, one of the most snooty and pretentious neighborhoods in Dallas. And that's saying a lot because if you asked me for one word to describe Dallas, I'd say Massively Snotty with a HUGE Stick Up It's Ass. (Yes, that's actually 9 words and yes, it absolutely must be capitalized.) Oh girl, the stories I could tell. If you ever wish to see grown men and women regress back to childhood, work at an upscale hotel. No kidding. I'm talking temper tantrums, name-calling, tears, threats, and the inability to do ANYTHING for themselves including but not limited to cleaning up the dog poop their precious Muffy left on the lobby floor, turning on the television, getting something they left in the car, paying their bill etc. etc. etc.

In case you're wondering, nothing is anonymous at a hotel. We know when you ordered porn. And we know exactly which porn you ordered. We know when you're having an affair with your co-worker. And when you bring in a prostitute (yes, it happens all the time). We know when you're doing drugs. And we know that you're the one that left that obscene mess and your dirty underwear (ewe!) in the men's bathroom. We see celebrities all the time. Some are delightful. Many are ridiculous assholes. But we know it all. Someone should seriously write a book about working in a hotel. Again for your entertainment I really wish I would've been blogging back then. I could seriously have written a whole themed blog on the ridiculousness of the "Nouveau Riche". Lucky for you, I actually do still work there part time answering some phones to earn a little extra cash, so maybe I'll have a good story to tell from time to time.

Ok, so, about 4 or 5 months in to working at the hotel I was going crazy and honestly thought I might reach across the front desk and strangle one of the temper tantrum throwing 5-year olds adult guests when I realized, "hey, didn't you go to college and dream of working in advertising? why the h-e-double hockey sticks are you working here?" (how'd ya like that little blast from the past? h-e-double hockey sticks. oh yeah, i've got a ton of those where that came from....) So I stepped up my game, got back on the job search wagon and frantically tried to find a job at advertising agency. As you may know, those are hard to come by. Especially entry-level ad jobs. Everyone thinks they want to work at an advertising agency. Seems so trendy and posh. And fun. (If they only knew...)

Lo and behold, I ended up stumbling across an open position at a small ad agency. I had two interviews, got the job, and my dream was realized. My new title? Advertising Assistant. Oh I should've known right then that they really meant Office Bitch Who We Sometimes Let do Advertising Stuff Just To Keep You Here. But I didn't and I happily accepted the position for way too little pay just to get my foot in the freaking door.

So here I am, 1 year and 4 months later, still an Advertising Assistant making next to nothing. I will say I've learned a lot, for which I'm greatful. I will also so say that I feel like I'm much smarter and more capable than that job allows me to be, that I work really hard for little recognition and pay and that more than anything I'm BORED. Part of me worries that it's the industry that I actually don't like. But another part of me argues that it's just this job and this company and I should give the industry one more chance. Not sure what exactly I'm going to do in the future, so I'm just letting it play out for now.

Also, I'm over Dallas. And it's just not me. Not my personality at all. I'm more of an Austin sort of gal. But it's too hot and humid down there, so that won't work. Anyway, I'm not bashing Dallas (well, not too much) but I'm just sick of having to dress up to go to Target, and spending tons of money I don't have just to fit in, and driving, driving, driving everywhere. I'm sick of the horrendous pollution, the ridiculous traffic, the "I'm better then you in every way, just look at my BMW and Jimmy Choos and by the way, I'm just a secretary with a $25,000 salary, thank goodness for Daddy and my credit cards" sort of attitude. I'm sick of the fake boobs (did you know that second only to LA, Dallas has more plastic surgeons than anywhere else in the country?), the Cougars, the douchey douche-bag, Ken doll, Fraty McFraterson guys who won't look twice at me because I'm not 5'4", size 0, blonde-haired trendster that I need to be to be accepted as an appropriate Texas girl. I'm SO sick of the materialism, the Republican till we die mentality, the Texas is better than ANYWHERE in the world, the anti-green, anti-save the world, drive our SUVs to the house next door, Hook 'Em Horns people that overrun this city.

So, that being said, I'm moving. I'm moving to Chicago. At the end of December. (Yes, I know it's dead in the middle of winter. I guess I just might be a bit crazy) And I couldn't be anymore excited. And scared. But really excited.

Now, if you're Texan, and you live in Dallas, please don't take offense. Texas has many a redeeming quality. As much as it drives me crazy, I actually do love the pride that Texas has for itself. I love the rough and tumble rancher meets the city sort of guy. I love country music and now, thanks to Texas, I don't mind going two-stepping from time to time. I love the Hill Country, and Austin, and the blue bonnet. And Blue Bell ice cream. And the shopping. Oh the shopping. The Big D has some phenom shopping. And thanks to Dallas, I've become sort of a foodie. I now love feasting on international goodness from all over the world. What will I ever do without Central Market? I love that Dallas is full of fun activities to do at all times. I'll really miss Addison, and Fort Worth, and Ikea. Most of all, I'll miss my beloved friends. I have been oh-so-blessed to meet some amazing people and it hurts my heart a bit to know that I might not see them again.

So there you have it. My Big News. I'm moving to Chicago. I've been dying to tell all my readers at the other blog, but since I haven't given notice to my work yet I can't. I feel bad, dropping the big "I quit" bomb right before the holidays, but I know if I tell them now they'll just let me go right away. And I need the $$.

Anywho, now that you've read the Longest Life Story in Blog History, I hope you'll swing by from time to time. I'll need loads of love and encouragement as I take this big step. And if you think I'm crazy, then tell me that too. (nicely please!)

This Is The Real Me

Well hello there. Glad to have you stop by. I'm an experienced blogger (and by experienced, I mean 7 months of previous blogging) and I need a new place to express my thoughts. An anonymous place. When I first started blogging, I gave out my web address to all of my friends and even (this was a mistake!) my parents and a co-worker. Every day I find myself holding back, afraid of who might read my true thoughts. Complain about work? No sir..can't do that. Might get back to the boss. Discuss my (non-existent) sex and dating life? Absolutely not, my dad might be reading. Rant about my roomie? Sure can't cause she's reading too. I love my other blog, and have grown quite attached to it, and the bloggy friends I've made. So I'll keep it up. But this, this here is where I'll really spill. So if you're interested at all in my musings, then by all means, stop by from time to time for a quick hello. Leave me some comments, introduce yourself. Let's be friends. And get excited because you'll get to "know" the real me. The one who isn't holding back.